Don't do drugs Don't have sex Don't bully other kids Don't run away from home Follow your dreams Don't make fun of other kids because they're different from you Stay in school Don't be shy Do your homework Date nice guys Help old people cross the street Eat your veggies and if you see a wounded deer Nurse her back to health Don't run with scissors Don't hit your sister Don't perform abortions on your own Don't put anything in any orifice Until you are full grown
Life's an after school special And everybody knows if you do the things you're told You'll grow up to be a nice person The kinda person who succeeds The kinda person who will go far far far far far far ahead in life In this capitalistic lie
Don't forget traditions Don't play with loaded guns Accept your stepparents because they love you Even if your stepmother gets drunk in a funk tickle trunk her boat is sunk Don't get dirt on your shirt Don't get hurt Do not flirt Don't have sex with my ex or with anyone Cause sexually transmitted infections are no fun
(chorus)
ADD is a recipe for the pharmacy to cure with their sure-fire pills got the chills and they fill My prescriptions are foul They leak out my bowels Feed me with speed and I'll be a star like Judy Garland