I needed the winter to wait till I was ready to face the cold again But it passed me by, keeping consistent my illusions She ends all conversations I'm glad that you don't hate me I wanted to say I don't, that I just don't have the energy I never found the room to breathe I lived underneath your floors Creeping quiet, ashamed and weak Occupying space, relating weeks to wars They make such beautiful portraits Ones the likes of which I never knew But I can't stand to look at them When every affirmation is the same blue These blistered hands remind me I'm so alone I'm so alone The twisted threads of my skin Unwind, create dizzy vertigo I bellowed all complaints, they named constraints I bored into their heads I'm sorry Madilyn, you're a waste of time, my uncertified unconsciousness
And when piano keys ring deep And when there's garbage in your head I'll recognize who I am, but I won't remember your face longer than this And I'm so sorry for said complexions These are my table conversations At what point did I lose touch enough My eyes, turbines in constant rotation
Pre-ripped tshirts made of pretentious boys and girls I relate to no one, songs and enclosed spaces All of the avenue I needed existed in the lines Painted neon on broken concrete I gazed on moons and beacons I laughed along when I was the joke There were no warning signs to show them, All that they knew was more so than I My muscles tighten, complexities unknown to humankind I betrayed shards of glass, so I expected when they robbed my vision blind So I'm apologies, appalled appearances and autonomy A savage cocktail I suppose, but what more could I have asked to keep I'm made anew by midnights ring A convalescent journey home A buried book composed of poems, you would have loved me if I wrote
And when piano keys ring deep And when there's garbage in your head I'll recognize who I am, but I won't remember your face longer than this And I'm so sorry for said complexions These are my table conversations At what point did I lose touch enough My eyes, turbines in constant rotation