morgan martinez - our crooked uncertainty | Текст песни

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• morgan martinez
• our crooked uncertainty

I wish you would have never called me.
I wish you would call again.

There’s something about
watching someone grow,
that makes you always want
to be near them.

It makes it that much harder
watching them leave.

We always want to find
that sliver of hope
in ourselves
the way we see it
in other people.

This isn’t healing.
This is just the truth.

I’ve been off. I’ve been getting off.
You’re sleeping soundly
in a different bed than mine.

I miss your laugh.
I miss the curve of your appetite,
your 4 am cigarette breaks,
the shyness in which your hands fold.
The axis in our stomachs that kept us together,
even when there was nothing left.
I miss when we were silently electrifying,
just a look from across the room,
had us on our knees.
I miss being porcelain under you,
one wrong move,
and I broke in half.
I loved our crooked uncertainty.

We think we find hope
in the most obscure of places.
We think we find it
if the terms and conditions says so,
we’ll give up the most important parts
of ourselves,
if it means we can no longer live
with the glass half full.

We knew
we wouldn’t get out of this alive,
but I did not know
you would beat me to the finish line.

I’m still running.
I’m still running.

There’s something about
watching someone grow,
that keeps you from
letting go.

A year ago,
you compared me to a setting sun,
my whole body was a fallen horizon
in your eyes.
You did not want to stick around
to watch me rise again.

I spent too much time
thanking you,
when I was doing
all the fixing.
I spent too much time
comparing your hands
to demolition;
if we’re being honest
you were the bulldozer
and I was the aftermath.

If love had told me that it would have made me sick,
I would have told it to fuck off
a long time ago.

I don’t want you back,
I don't want you back,
but I’ll do anything
I hate enough.

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