Dear Santa, the thing is this year has been lame. It always seemed I always dreamed by now I’d have someone else’s last name. Way past grown, sleeping in a shrunken bed all alone (unless you count the squatters tearing up my head). Tried so hard to be good all year long and we are all inherently bad. Anne frank had it wrong.
Chorus:
Santa, oh Santa. Where were you last night?! I asked for nothing, I even left some cookies right by the open window. I don’t have a chimney, just a heart of gold. You see. Imagine my surprise, that not even Santa wants cookies from me.
Verse 2.
Dear Santa, could you use a 6 foot 1 elf? I’m sick of taking stock from this widow’s walk up here searching for myself. Is there any way I could hop aboard your sleight? Take a holiday, leave the work to me, your red nosed blue Jay. When people say the joy you bring’s a children's thing, does it sting? ‘Cuz I will ring silver bells and sing you’re as real as Martin Luther King!!!
Verse 3.
Chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, gingerbread too! A full selection from my convection in little shapes of you! Free flowing Ho-Ho-ing's a lot for one man’s jaws. If you’re feeling brittle I can make a little Mrs for your Claus.