i don’t know how to be what i wanted to be when i was 5 sometimes blue eyes sometimes green —————————————— bike rides snow hikes and christmas lights sometimes freezing sometimes warm i don’t know if i can love that anymore —————————————— cuz i got it all i got it all mistaken for a meaningful life and a fun family vacation like when i used to ride roller coasters with my dad when a swimming pool in a hotel was a gift from god ——————————————- like love or like a family i don’t know how to be maybe i just wanna get married maybe i just wanna fall asleep ——————————————– but at least i know that the world is spinning when we’re tangled in the bedsheets and at least i know that my mom is breathing when we talk on the phone and at least i know that my house won’t burn down down to the ground or maybe it will if i’ve been in love before, and i’m pretty sure i have i’m pretty sure that my house can burn down down to the ground tomorrow if i’ve been in love before and i know that i have, then i know that my house can burn down down down down to the ground tomorrow