And if one day I should become A singer with a Spanish bum Who sings for women of great virtue
I'd sing to them with a guitar I borrowed from coffee bar Well, what you don't know doesn't hurt you
My name would be Antonio And all my bridges I would burn And if I gave them some they'd know I expect something in return
I'd have to get drunk every night To talk about virility With some old grandmother who might Be decked out like a Christmas tree
And tho' pink elephants I'd see I'd sing the song they sang to me About the time they called me Jackie If I could be for only an hour If I could be for an hour every day If I could be for just one little hour Cute, cute, cute in a stupid-ass way
And if I joined the social whirl Became procurer of young girls Then I would have my own bordellos
My record would be number one And I'd sell records by the ton All sung by many other fellows
My name would then be handsome Jack And I'd sell boats of opium Whiskey that came from Twickenham Authentic queers and phony virgins
I'd have a bank on every finger A finger in every country And every country ruled by me I still know where I'd want to be
Locked up inside my opium den Surrounded by some Chinamen I'd sing the song that I sang then About the time they called me Jackie If I could be for only an hour If I could be for an hour every day If I could be for just one little hour Cute, cute, cute in a stupid-ass way